Rich Sigberman Art & Illustration 90

Today, I put the last touches on the large "cartoon epic" piece I did for the Velocity Circus. The piece is 5 feet wide, 40" in depth, full of colorful, fun detail, and well designed so that it is cohesive. My client is very happy with it, as am I.

After a big piece like this, that taxed all my energy and ability, everything else can seem pretty anti-climactic. The job I moved on to was not the most ambitious one I've ever had: a rendering of a house in triplicate! The photo I had to work off of was tiny, with no detail visible, the house plain in design, and to do three of them for the limited budget meant I'd have to find a way to make this work on all levels, artistic and economic.

I traced the photo, projected it 3 times on to watercolor paper, and outlined it with sepia ink, as I felt a softer feel was appropriate for the 3 sisters who grew up in this house, and for whom these versions would be gifts from the realtor who sold the place. Once it was outlined, it was time to paint, and here is where that feeling of anti-climax had to be reckoned with. Usually , when I am to begin my color work on a piece, I feel a sense of excitement. But, this time, I felt the urge to get it all done as quickly as I could, and I did not like this feeling. So, I had a gut-check before I began.

I thought about how I would approach the art, and decided to make "three exqusite miniature watercolors" of this house, framed by trees, lawn, and shadows. I would use those last 3 elements to make the picture, paint with confidence, but with a small brush for maximum control and variation in tone. I began with the sky areas that poked out between the trees.

That's how I began the art. I set the tone for myself by stopping, thinking about how I could address the art with integrity, and used a small brush to make sure I couldn't rush even if I tried. I did gradually move to a bigger, faster brush, but by that time I had established what I needed to do. I think the end-result is very good, and I was able to complete the work in a time frame that made the budget ok.

I have gotten to the point where I know when I'm kidding myself in art, know when I'm taking a short cut that is hurting the end result, and know how to stop doing that no matter what the budget. If I don't work to the best of my ability, then I'm short-changing myself. As a business person, it's not likely that I'm going to make a fortune of money, but as an artist I'll know that I did the best I was capable of.

Happy longest-day-of-the-year to one and all. Of course, depedning on the events in one's life, one may wish it was not the longest day. Too bad -it's definitely beyond your control.

I'm struck by how we humans are so capable of harboring entirely different emotions, all conflicting with each other, all at the same time. Today, I put finishing touches on the grandest piece I've ver been commissioned to do: an enormous cartoon mural, 5 feet in width and with some 75 characters cavorting around against a black, starry background. I put in at least 100 hours on the art, probably more. Why bother keeping track when there is a flat fee involved?
So, I'm proud of the result, and a bit exhausted by the effort too.

On the other hand, my Father is in the hospital again, my Mother is crying a lot, and my Sister is trying to manage an impossible situation. It's very tough. I went back east last week to view the situation and visit. I could see my parents declining; they don't even want to leave their apartment.

My wife's Father is in Hospice care now. He is 95, and, for the most part, was blessed with excellent health. No matter what sort of parent one had, their passing must be an emotional, seminal experience. I don't think there's any getting around it.

I'm trying to just be a good person, a good artist, and appreciate my blessings in this life.

So, I"m doing my best to be on a three day work binge, not so much because I'm inspired to do so, but because I don't generate money if I don't work, and because I'll be leaving in two days to go back east to visit my parents. I've got a few jobs going, two of which I have had on the back-burner for over a month. It's time to work on them.

Inspiration seems to come and go, more often the latter. My hunger to create art has been waning, and, while I still love it, it often seems that the joyous parts of a given job come later and later in the process now. I can't tell you why that is, and I hope that it's a temporary development. Obviously by now, I've developed enough craft to cover up lapses in inspiration, and just as obviously doing art and illustration full time is what I'm meant to do . Just the same, that feverish desire and compulsion to create has been missing.

Sometimes I have a sort of delayed gratification going where I know that the recipient of the art will love what I'm creating for them so much, that it makes the dificulty of beginning the piece worth it. Sometimes it's not until the drawing is done and the painting begins that I start to really enjoy the process fully.

One fine job that I'm working on is the marriage between word and image, as I'm illustrating a woman's poetry. I've enjoyed the sketch process a lot, finding that I am really in my element when reading and drawing to it. I guess I am truly an illustrator, maybe more than a self-generating artist. I also feel appreciated by this client, and that helps too.

Going back east to visit family is never all that easy for me. All the old issues come up, the lack of recognition and encouragement early on when I needed it. The failure to recognize me for who I am. My parents are aging now, and my Father is not doing well at all. He and I never really connected much, and I don't think it's going to happen now. Just the same, I'll go back out of a sense of duty.

If I could spend a bit of time in Manhatten, it would make the trip much more interesting, but I don't believe that will be possible. So, I'll be in New Jersey at the old-age home, and try to bring a sense of joy and purpose to my parents.

This is embarassing! My emails all say at the bottom, "check out my daily blog" and my entries have been made with more and more time in between them. Maybe I should change the salutation to "check out my bi-weekly, more or less, blog".

There has been a lot of internal investigation work going in this being of late, and somehow that has lead me to keep it all inside. Suffice it to say that the work is ongoing, and probably always will be. Has it affected the art I do? Actually, I have only been working on commercial commissioned art for the last few months, and am not in the process of doing any personal art, which I miss a lot. I keep putting the "art-art" on the back burner, as I try to generate income.

Last week, most of my negotiations fell through. I was dealing with people who didn't have budgets that I found acceptable, and I felt like I was in the wrong field. But, yesterday, a fine person commissioned me to illustrate some of her marvelous poetry, and I'll be doing that along with the lettering, a combination of type and image that has a great history. I feel much better now. Maybe I am in the right field, after all.

For the same person, I did a commissioned piece for her band. I relied a lot on photos I took of them, and consequently the drawing is not as lively (or weird) as when I make it up. Just the same , the bass player claims to hate the rendering of her. I offered to re-do it, if she'll provide me with a new photograph, but it doesn't seem that she will do that. It's tough to please all the people all the time, although I try to.

Soon, I'll be going back to New Jersey to visit my parents. My Father is not doing so well, and my Mother is getting very tired of taking care of him. I can't imagine that the visit will be a joyous one, but I'll be trying hard to remember who I am throughout.

In the mean time, I'm planning to do a lot of art here, even skipping the trip to Esalen in order to catch up and do some things I've had on the back burner. There is something cleansing about working hard at one's craft.