My Father's Death
We got the call around 5 a.m. Saturday, made our arrangements, and were on the plane by 1 pm. My Dad passed away some time in the middle of the night, after a long, slow decline where his body ceased to work for him any more. It was time.
At the funeral, I gave a short, dignified eulogy talking about his integrity, love for music, work ethic, and good example set for his family. All of that was true. What I left out, of course, was the basic lack of rapport between him and me, a resutl, I suppose of two people having two very different personalities and styles. Of course, to a child, that is beyond understanding, and there were many needs that went unfulfilled for me, so it went, and so it must go for many.
Just the same, he was a good man, and did the best he could with the limitations he self-imposed, and those that may have been imposed by the times and culture he lived in. I've more than forgiven him, and have made my peace with him, and wish him well on the next lef of the journey if, in fact, there is one.
As I chose art as my livliehood, there was a rebellion to the family ethic. As I complain about lack of money, I am loyal to the family ethic. I've only gone "so far" within my own self-imposed limitations , so in that, I've remained loyal to my Dad. It's time to break that loyalty, and go further.
At the funeral, I gave a short, dignified eulogy talking about his integrity, love for music, work ethic, and good example set for his family. All of that was true. What I left out, of course, was the basic lack of rapport between him and me, a resutl, I suppose of two people having two very different personalities and styles. Of course, to a child, that is beyond understanding, and there were many needs that went unfulfilled for me, so it went, and so it must go for many.
Just the same, he was a good man, and did the best he could with the limitations he self-imposed, and those that may have been imposed by the times and culture he lived in. I've more than forgiven him, and have made my peace with him, and wish him well on the next lef of the journey if, in fact, there is one.
As I chose art as my livliehood, there was a rebellion to the family ethic. As I complain about lack of money, I am loyal to the family ethic. I've only gone "so far" within my own self-imposed limitations , so in that, I've remained loyal to my Dad. It's time to break that loyalty, and go further.
posted by Rich Sigberman at
8:33 AM
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