What am I doing here?
So, I"m doing my best to be on a three day work binge, not so much because I'm inspired to do so, but because I don't generate money if I don't work, and because I'll be leaving in two days to go back east to visit my parents. I've got a few jobs going, two of which I have had on the back-burner for over a month. It's time to work on them.
Inspiration seems to come and go, more often the latter. My hunger to create art has been waning, and, while I still love it, it often seems that the joyous parts of a given job come later and later in the process now. I can't tell you why that is, and I hope that it's a temporary development. Obviously by now, I've developed enough craft to cover up lapses in inspiration, and just as obviously doing art and illustration full time is what I'm meant to do . Just the same, that feverish desire and compulsion to create has been missing.
Sometimes I have a sort of delayed gratification going where I know that the recipient of the art will love what I'm creating for them so much, that it makes the dificulty of beginning the piece worth it. Sometimes it's not until the drawing is done and the painting begins that I start to really enjoy the process fully.
One fine job that I'm working on is the marriage between word and image, as I'm illustrating a woman's poetry. I've enjoyed the sketch process a lot, finding that I am really in my element when reading and drawing to it. I guess I am truly an illustrator, maybe more than a self-generating artist. I also feel appreciated by this client, and that helps too.
Going back east to visit family is never all that easy for me. All the old issues come up, the lack of recognition and encouragement early on when I needed it. The failure to recognize me for who I am. My parents are aging now, and my Father is not doing well at all. He and I never really connected much, and I don't think it's going to happen now. Just the same, I'll go back out of a sense of duty.
If I could spend a bit of time in Manhatten, it would make the trip much more interesting, but I don't believe that will be possible. So, I'll be in New Jersey at the old-age home, and try to bring a sense of joy and purpose to my parents.
Inspiration seems to come and go, more often the latter. My hunger to create art has been waning, and, while I still love it, it often seems that the joyous parts of a given job come later and later in the process now. I can't tell you why that is, and I hope that it's a temporary development. Obviously by now, I've developed enough craft to cover up lapses in inspiration, and just as obviously doing art and illustration full time is what I'm meant to do . Just the same, that feverish desire and compulsion to create has been missing.
Sometimes I have a sort of delayed gratification going where I know that the recipient of the art will love what I'm creating for them so much, that it makes the dificulty of beginning the piece worth it. Sometimes it's not until the drawing is done and the painting begins that I start to really enjoy the process fully.
One fine job that I'm working on is the marriage between word and image, as I'm illustrating a woman's poetry. I've enjoyed the sketch process a lot, finding that I am really in my element when reading and drawing to it. I guess I am truly an illustrator, maybe more than a self-generating artist. I also feel appreciated by this client, and that helps too.
Going back east to visit family is never all that easy for me. All the old issues come up, the lack of recognition and encouragement early on when I needed it. The failure to recognize me for who I am. My parents are aging now, and my Father is not doing well at all. He and I never really connected much, and I don't think it's going to happen now. Just the same, I'll go back out of a sense of duty.
If I could spend a bit of time in Manhatten, it would make the trip much more interesting, but I don't believe that will be possible. So, I'll be in New Jersey at the old-age home, and try to bring a sense of joy and purpose to my parents.
posted by Rich Sigberman at
8:30 AM
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